During the past several weeks, I’ve been going through a sort of spiritual crisis. It was brought to my attention that my previous practice had become a bit “safe” and comfortable. It wasn’t really challenging me to reach new heights or become a better practitioner. Yes, Cerridwen does encourage her followers to become more skilled and knowledgeable. However, there was something more that I was missing, and it wasn’t coming from Cerridwen. I have studied and practiced witchcraft for three decades now, and there were two deity figures that kept cropping up in my studies, particularly from teachers that I highly respect and admire. I avoided these deities because they weren’t from the Celtic pantheon, which up until now I have been primarily focused on. Instinctively I knew they were important, but they didn’t seem to fit with how I practiced. I have recently been reminded that as a gay man, my sexuality should play a role in how I practice. I was also reminded there are other deities with similar attributes to the Celtic deities I had been honoring, ones that can add more nuance to my practice, more growth, more power, more sensuality. If I call myself a witch, these are deities that require my attention and devotion.

These deities are known as Pan and Hekate.

Pan shares a few qualities with Cernunnos, such as his connection to nature, animals and the plant realm. However, Pan is a horned god, whereas Cernunnos is an antlered god. They are not really the same, as some have implied. Pan is strongly connected to sexuality in all it’s forms, to the powers of lust, music and altered consciousness. There are many recorded stories and legends connected to Pan. No such stories or myths exist for Cernunnos. What Cernunnos represents is all based on conjecture and assumption. Pan is famously bisexual, pursuing both men and women. He is lustful, lecherous and unashamedly wild and sexual. He is a proper deity for gay men such as myself, moreso than Cernunnos. Hekate, like Cerridwen, is a goddess of witchcraft, but she is so much more, and is known by many names or ‘epithets’. She is the original Queen of Witches, while Pan could be called the King of Witches. I am studying all I can about these two deities and how to embrace them in my life and practice. I have already been guided by them in certain directions, which will be revealed at a later time. There is so much to learn. This is new territory for me, it is both challenging and exciting at the same time. I am totally out of my comfort zone, but I suppose that is a good thing.